Reading Body Language

Whether you are in a job interview, on a date or just interacting with colleagues, understanding some basics about body language can be very useful.  When observing others, you can note what they are telling you with their body language, and note whether or not it matches what they are telling you verbally.

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When you are the one speaking and listening, take care to use appropriate body language.  You don't want to convey the wrong message simply because you don't understand the typical American body language.

First, consider posture.  When you stand or sit with an upright spine, relaxed shoulders and good alignment, you look and feel more confident.  Avoid thrusting out your chest overly, as this may appear to be aggressive.  Keep your arms at your sides or resting in a relaxed manner on your lap.

Second, take advantage of mirroring.  When you use similar body positions and gestures to the other person, it puts them more at ease and makes them feel a connection to you.

Third, show interest.  Leaning forward slightly, maintaining eye contact as you listen, and nodding to show agreement are good indicators that you are listening to the other person.  Avoid crossing your arms in front of your chest, as this shows disagreement or resistance to the other person's ideas.

Lastly, when you are the speaker, make eye contact as you begin your turn to speak, then look away as you continue.  Continue to check in for eye contact as you speak, but do not hold it for more than 5 seconds or so, as prolonged eye contact will make your listener uncomfortable.

You can practice these techniques by speaking in front of a mirror, or recording yourself during a conversation.  Look to see what body language you are using when you aren't thinking about it, and adjust as needed.  Using professional and interactive body language will help your interactions go more smoothly.